It is that time again. Time to reset the calendar, review the year, and set new intentions for the year to come. For me, 2024 was a year of massive change. It was time to reconsider what I was doing in this world, reconfigure my life, refocus my energy, and explore new ways of being. 2025 is a year for me to expand in Grace.
Last year’s deep heart work, intense grieving, and internal digging left me more sensitive to the world than ever before. I gradually became able to feel other people’s energy and emotions intensely. I had moments where I would spiral into a pit of anxiety and feel like the world was closing in on me, and others where I felt like the luckiest man on Earth.
In a way, grieving Karina’s death was easier; at least I knew why I was feeling what I was feeling. This year, I often didn't understand why I was feeling the way I was, and my resistance to what I was feeling created additional agony.
The result- I felt inescapably drawn to reconfigure everything in my life towards what felt good, aligned, and at ease within me. This resulted in the disconnection from some friends, the sale of one of my businesses, and the shutdown of another. This meant long breaks from social media and the news. I simplified, I pruned, I refocused, and I became very intentional with my energy. I sought only things that would lift me and avoided those who would bring me down.
This also meant radical self-care, a daily dedication to the practices that helped me feel good in my body and safe in this life. I sometimes had to take breaks and relied on my vices to get through the day. But I learned to navigate those times with more compassion and understanding with myself.
Thankfully, I made it through and have been resting and recuperating, focusing my energy on only the most essential things in my life, letting go of the rest.
Until recently, I was looking towards 2025 with the intent to manifest more Ease in my life. I’ve held an unrelenting desire for life to be less challenging. But recently,y I realized that that isn’t what life is about. There will also be challenges. There will always be times of struggle, it is part of our purpose for being here. It is how we learn and grow. So, instead of Ease, I am manifesting Grace.
To me, Grace is Ease in action, especially in the hard times.
Grace is navigating the intricacies of anxiety with curiosity instead of resistance. Grace is seeing failure as a lesson. Grace is knowing a door has to close to open another. Grace is accepting the comings and goings of people and things as a pruning process, always making way for better and brighter. Grace is being compassionate with myself when I have a hard day. Grace is non-judging, knowing that only hurt people can hurt people, and sending extra love to those people.
Grace is forgiveness. Grace is looking at the man who ran a red light and saying, “I hope you get to where you need to go quickly and safely.” Grace is listening, even when you have things to say. Grace is showing up every day, even when I’m tired, even when I’m sick, to recognize this life is a blessing. Grace is daily gratitude. Grace is three deep breaths when shit hits the fan.
I know challenges will come this year. I own a small business; solving problems is most of my job. Last year, the challenges were more stressful than they needed to be because I resisted so much. I got frustrated, angry at times, and stressed far more than needed. It was taxing on my body and nervous system; it led me to exhaustion and burnout. I can do better. I can live in Grace.
So, as we head into 2025, it is with head held high, knowing that this year might not be any easier than every other year, but we are more capable than ever before. We made it this far. Onwards and Upwards we go.
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